This is the first of what I hope to be many “real talks”, a segment on my thoughts and realizations in life, whether it be about self, relationships, or essentially anything and everything. I would like this segment to help me see how my perceptions on certain topics change as I get older, and I hope that you’ll enjoy/get something out of me putting in my two cents.
Before I get into detail, let me preface this with a brief background on how I view relationships. I am very much a person who values quality time with my special someone. If it were humanly possible, I would be with him practically all the dang time. I wouldn’t say I am clingy, because idealistically, I do want us to have lives that can be separate from each other. I just think it becomes really easy for couples to fall into a comfortable pattern of sticking together – it happens to everyone. So when I was no longer able to see him all the time, it was initially disorienting.
My relationship has been long distance(ish) for about nine months. The distance apart is not too much, but it’s enough that we are not a part of each other’s daily lives in the physically present sense. Weekend visits are limited to two, three if we’re lucky occurrences a month. It was especially tough on me at first because I had never been in a relationship where I couldn’t easily be with my significant other if I wanted to. The first few weeks, I felt bummed out and missed him like crazy.
But at that time, I had also decided to start working full time and my days became so busy that slowly but surely, I was becoming okay with being apart. I was gaining great work experience and as an added bonus, my days seemed to go by much faster when I kept myself productive, so weekends came by in the blink of an eye. I was happy going to work and that I was doing something good for myself. As a person who was probably a little too dependent on my person, it spoke to me on many levels when I saw that my happiness and fulfillment came from many sources, not just my significant other alone. And even with all the time apart, I know we are going strong and I couldn’t be happier. I also feel like we cherish time together more and that makes it all the more special.
We are both at a time in our lives where we are both trying to figure out exactly what we want to do and who we want to be. In many senses, I see us as a we, but I need to remember to also focus on me. Someday in the near future, I really do hope that we will be a part of each other’s daily lives again. But for now, we have to make the best of it and use this time to grow. I tell myself to stay positive and productive, and everything will eventually fall into place. That’s what keeps me going.